Gardening For The Soul

Firstly, an update on how I am doing post my 2nd chemo treatment.  The answer is OK.  I got all the same stuff as before, heartburn, achy bones, very sore mouth but this time had many pills to take before things got too bad and also knew what to expect.  The worse thing is the fatigue as I am tired the whole time.  I have grand plans but then can’t muster the energy to do much at all.  To add to everything, we (I use that term in the royal sense) decided to get another cat.  Peanut, although loving her walks, pays very scant attention to me, preferring everybody else in the house and even some who are just visiting.  In an attempt to convince Steve that our little kitty needed a play mate, I hatched a plan to get a new, new cat that would love me the most and be the companion I had envisioned for myself.  Off Sarah and I went to the MSPCA, promising Steve that we would come home empty handed and indeed we did but only because Louise needed to be spayed.  Two days later, she was MINE and as she’s been very sick with cat flu since we got her, has clung to me like a limpet and I am loving every minute of it.  Maybe I am getting empty nest syndrome in advance of it being empty?  Or perhaps some days with two teenage daughters, wishing it was empty?!?!

And yes, her name is Louise.  She arrived at the shelter with a kitten so the pair were called Thelma and Louise.  I had wanted Peanut to be called LuLu but was outvoted. I think it’s a cute name, loved the singer LuLu when I was a kid and last but not least, my sister-in-law who died of breast cancer was called Louise, so a trifecta.  Nobody else got a vote, period.  I keep joking that she completes me like Mini Me and Dr. Evil or perhaps Dr. Evil and Mr. Bigglesworth who lost all his hair when he was unfrozen.  And yes, Mini Me has a cat, too (images below).  Unfortunately, the cat flu has caused LuLu to drool, snort and sneeze all over me, particularly at night, but life is short, eat dessert first I say.  We now have to give her antibiotics which I am going to force Sarah to administer so that she doesn’t think I am a mean Mum (the cat that is, not Sarah).  They say that chemo cooks the brain but I do not feel that I am a living example of that in any way at all.  No Siree.  And to prove the point, have taken some images of the garden whilst out walking Peanut which I have added to my photo page.  My life is just so busy, having chemo, cleaning up cat snot and crawling around in the bushes, being dragged through the yard on the end of a leash.

On a separate note, I am developing a whole new relationship with my head.  Yesterday, I went on a nature walk through the Healing Garden in Harvard.  Us cancer ladies took a short walk with a hiking guru and we did silent walking meditations, along with observing nature and talking a little about our stuff.  The weather was beautiful and the walk was very scenic.  I left my head bare and the sensation on it was just amazing.  It was as if I was sensing the world through my head in a way I had not before.  The breeze, the sun, just the feeling of it all up there on my noggin.   Although my head has been bare for a couple of weeks, it was the first time I was really conscious of how I was experiencing it.  And then I went to buy apples at a farm store and later on, took the cat to the vet.  In both cases, I had on a baseball cap and felt like a cancer patient.  Such a contrast. I know it’s my interpretation, but when I am in a normal situation with a bald head, think that people are pitying me, feeling sorry for me.  Of course, I have no clue what’s going on for others.  They might be thinking that I am brave, beautiful and wise.  Who knows, but still I am keenly aware of  how I feel.

So that’s the skinny for now.  I got a whole new bunch of hats from a woman in my Pink exercise program and without exception, are the most awful looking things on me.  One of them looks like a cap you’d see on the maids in Pride and Prejudice and as I was very into Colin Firth as Mr Darcy, making Steve watch it, too, acted a number of parts to him last night, quite convincingly I must say.  I was giggling my ass off but he was just shaking his head.  Oh well onward and upward.

Love to all,

Amanda

P.S.  If you are a Star Trek fan, you have to check out Carol’s response to my last blog.  How could I have missed that episode?  I am going to look for it on you tube right now!  And to blpkmp (Karen/Brian, is that you?) who got all the answers right, way to go and Scotty, beam them up!  A dreadful picture of me is coming your way!