Words from a song by Kool and the Gang, for those of you old enough to remember. On Thursday, I had the final of my four chemo treatments. And how do I feel about this? Such a roller coaster of emotions leading up to it. Last week I was in a bit of a funky place. I am seeing a therapist and what became clear as I sat and cried in her office is that whilst I am going through treatment, I am giving myself permission to really take care of myself, to ask for what I want, to rest when I need to, to buy healthy, nutritious food and to spend time at The Healing Garden, radiating in self care. I had it in my head that no chemo meant no more permission, that I would have to be strong again, self reliant, disappear into the morass of busyness and chaos that so many of us experience. It is so easy to get caught up in giving others what they need, putting ourselves at the bottom of the list. When you go through cancer you realize there is nothing more important than your health, nothing. And maximizing wellness takes a conscious effort, requiring us to give up some of the things we think we should be doing to make time for ourselves. Not easy, I know and a critical lesson I am still absorbing.
But I am happy to report that when the time actually came, when the IV was finally removed and the nurses toasted me with little cups of Ginger ale – hopefully not in urine sample cups – I felt great, somewhat giggly and super excited to be on to the next phase, which is radiation for 5+ weeks, along with an MRI on my ovaries so see if they can find the one that mysteriously disappeared from the ultrasound! My friend, Lina who was my escort for the day’s activities, then took me to the Wegmans which has just opened near the hospital. What an amazing experience – we purchased some really healthy food. The best thing by far was that I came home with a plump, fresh trout which I cooked whole, head on ‘n all. Apart from loving the taste, I find trout fascinating as like salmon, they spend an inordinate amount of energy swimming upstream in order to spawn. In the space I’m in right now, I’d just hang around in the calm pools and hope that nobody noticed that I’d much rather relax than procreate!
Love to all and stay away from the left over Halloween candy!
Amanda
Yea! Congratulations! Chemo is over….that’s huge!
Congratulations, Amanda! Also, Wegman’s rocks! The Wegman family is from my hometown in Rochester, NY. No one goes to the grocery store in Rochester — they go to Wegman’s! It’s a great company with a long history of supporting the communities they operate in. Glad you enjoyed it 🙂
Congratulations you trooper! I replied to your e-mail btw. Take a look!