Gardening For The Soul

Yesterday was my first IV Chemo treatment on the Cisplatin. Before the treatment, I met with the oncologist nurse practitioner, who I love. She gave me more details on my PET scan and like boobs, butts, stomach and those baggy things that hang down from the tops of arms as you get older (where do those suddenly appear from??), it seems that my cancer has done the same!!! The PET scan indicated no cancer this time in my neck, shoulders and the piece of my skull they scan. But it’s all collecting in my pelvis, hips, ilium and femurs. Oh joy!! This is causing pressure on my nerves thus the leg aches and pain. In order to combat this, she has given me Oxycodon.

Not only has she given it to me, I have taken it. I can hear a collective gasp from many of you out there!!! I decided that the pain was impacting my quality of life, stopping me from doing things I wanted to do and bringing me down, man. And it works, quite definitively. That’s not all – I now rattle as I walk, so you can hear me coming. The number of drugs to combat the extreme nausea that comes with cisplatin makes me feel like a walking pharmacy. And naturally, all these things cause constipation so then another load of things for that. Sigh 😦

But whether it’s my new BFF the Oxy, the steroids which I only take for three days but give me this strange to me sensation of having energy (!), or something else, I am feeling damn good. I recall about 20 years ago deciding that I wanted to feel free and liberated on the inside no matter what was happening in my external world. Not the way I had expected to get there but indeed today I feel it. I am learning to get out of my brain as much as I can and into my heart and soul. The wisdom that resides in these places is so deep and meaningful and the head can be a dangerous place as I am sure many of you appreciate.

Talking of heading South, am off to FL from 1/25 to 2/5. It’s just a Steve and me trip. We are going to Universal for a day as the bucket list includes Harry Potter World, then off to Clearwater to spend time with Steve’s parents and Mike and Ellen (Steve’s wonderful brother and wife) in the warm sun. Really looking forward to it and then off to Santa Fe at the beginning of March for my spiritual retreat. How did I ever have time to work?!?!

And finally, thank you for all the wonderful comments you post. I love feeling the love – makes me all warm and gooey on the inside like the best tasting warm chocolate chip cookies.

Amanda xx